Charlie's Eye Surgery

See the white spot in his eye? That's glaucoma and cataracts.

I had been in denial for some time about the severity of Charlie's eye. At first it was only a small defect and you couldn't really tell unless you were looking closely but after time it got worse and worse. He hasn't been able to see out of his left eye for some time but once the glaucoma set in and he detached his retina it was time to take some serious action.

We went to an animal opthamologist (who knew they had them for dogs!!) and she confirmed that something had to be done about his bad eye. She explained the options and we opted for it to be removed. We knew he was in pain since it was swollen and starting to water a lot more than normal.

So we decided to have his eye removed and I scheduled the surgery. Dr. Wade was Charlie's doctor during his ER stunt yet I still have not met her. She is a wonderful doctor over the phone, updating this concerned mama along the way. When it was time to schedule the eye removal I knew that I wanted Dr. Wade to do the surgery if she was qualified and available.

So last Thursday Charlie had his surgery. He had to spend the night, which I hate but I had to keep telling myself that it was the best place for him to be while he was in recovery.

Charlie at work with his soft cone on.

I had prepared myself for what my dog was going to look like with no eye but I wasn't quite prepared for the healing process. Troy picked him up the next morning and brought him to my work so I could see him. I wanted to cry. Half his face was shaved, red marks from the shavers, and bright blue stitches through his eye.

I am battling guilt really bad right now. I look at his face and think "did I do the right thing? Why did I let this happen?" Charlie is in pain and I made it happen. He looks so funny right now all shaved. I become strong and then I will take a long look at him again and start to cry all over again. In the long run I know that we are helping him. His headaches will stop and when it is all healed he will be back to normal and won't be in any pain anymore. Getting to the healed part is what I am having so much trouble with. I just want him to feel better already. We have to put an ice pack (aka bag of frozen peas) over his stitches and he hates it. I look into his eye and he just looks scared and in pain and it just breaks my heart.

Mama loves you baby!

I just want Charlie to be ok already. When will this process be over? My heart is just hurting so badly. I can't imagine the day he goes to heaven. I tear up even thinking about it. This dog is seriously like my child and I dread the day that I have to make the decision to let him go.

I love you Charlie Brown.

Angels Home Opener

Yesterday we went to the Angels Home Opener. It was a lot of fun. When we got there, traditionally too early, there wasn't anyone manning the parking booths and one of the lanes was wide open... so we just went in and set up our site.

It was so cold during the tailgate party. When the sun would come out for just a moment we would gather in the sun to soak it up. The food was good, the company better and it was so nice to see the family.

It always amazes me how many people approach Steve and Amy to use the bathroom in their trailer. There must have been at least 7 people who approached us. I guess being intoxicated helped them have the guts to do it. It doesn't help that we are right next to the A which is very near to the port-a-potties.... which always have long lines. Amy says if they have the balls to ask to use it she can't bring herself to say no.

Even though the Angels last night it was nice to see the family, hang out with Jared, Joe and of course my husband. Plus I love the giveaways. Last night was a landyard and a XL t-shirt. Next Tuesday we are going to the game with Cassandra and Andrew for the fleece blanket giveaway.

Each day I get better. Some days I have sad days and some days I don't even think about our loss. We will keep trying. I know God has a plan for us. It just wasn't our time.