PCOS

Ever since my very first period I have never been regular. Most girls would find this a blessing when they don't get a period for 6 months at a time, but when you are trying to get a grasp on your own reproductive system it becomes quite frustrating and even discouraging.

At my last Dr.'s appointment in September I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome) in which my body's hormones are out of whack causing an egg not to be released on the normal 28 day cycle. This is what causes my lack of period. I have been taking a medication called Metformin to see if it will stabilize my system and get me back on track. This medication was designed to treat diabetics but I guess it was discovered that it can help PCOS victims as well.

One of the side effects of PCOS is excessive weight gain. After graduating high school, moving out, getting a desk job, and no longer dieting to fit into my perfect wedding dress for my perfect wedding day, it has been easy to put on the extra weight. Since weight gain is a side effect it is pretty obvious that one of the at home treatments of PCOS is to lose weight. Since it is the beginning of the year it is also a good time to reaffirm my goal to lose weight and get my health under control. I am feeling support from my family and co-workers since most of them are on their New Year Resolution highs. I am hoping to continue to stay focused and continue to stay motivated to get fit. This will not only help myself and my personal health but will hopefully get my gynecologically challenged body moving in the right direction.

For someone who only wanted to grow up and be a mom when she grew up it has been very difficult to face the reality that it is likely that getting pregnant will be a challenging adventure. As a little girl you are told that you grow up, get married, and because the two of you loved each other so much you make a baby. Unfortunately for me I may be looking at months or even years of testing, experimentation, and medication. I dreamed of the "it just happened" or even the "oops" baby. I could go with the ebb and flow of life but now with the complications looming we will have to be more prepared and intentional with our timing and our decisions. Which leads me to my biggest concern of all, will we ever be able to afford it? I have heard time and time again that if you wait until you can afford to have kids or wait until you are ready and prepared, you will never have kids. I look at the checkbook every month and am amazed at our ability to pay everything that we need to and still be able to stay afloat. I fear that adding a child into the current equation would not only be crazy but irresponsible. I want my future baby to have a good life. I want them to have every opportunity possible within their grasps. I don't want my financial situation to prevent him or her from being able to play soccer, take a dance class or go to college.

Will I ever be ready? Will I ever just get pregnant? Will I always be counting the days on the calendar? Will I ever be a mom?

Hopefully yes,
Melissa