Heartbeat

Yesterday morning I got a message from my OB say that my hcg grew very quickly and my progesterone levels were elevated and to do another ultrasound this week. Of course panic set in and I immediately made an appointment for an ultrasound that same day. I figured it was a good idea since I was going in to see the doctor that day anyway and he could see the report before hand.

Troy and I got to the ultrasound place, somewhere where I am now frequenting along with Quest Diagnostics, and waited until we could be seen. The worst part... filling your bladder with 32 oz of water and waiting what seemed like forever for the exam to start. Seriously the worst part of the whole thing.

Up there on the screen there was a lot of black and white wishy washy stuff that you couldn't really make out and then all of a sudden she zoomed in on the pregnancy sack and in there you could see a little baby (that looked like a sea monkey) with a little flicker. She measured the heart beat and it was 118 beats per minute.

Relief!

Our first prenatal appointment went well. I had a pap (yuck!) and he listened to my heart, checked my breasts for lumps and made sure I was in good health. He ordered another round of blood work and off I went.

Troy was especially glad to hear that it was ok for me to travel so we are officially back on to going to Kansas City at the end of October.

All in all it was a lot of worries and fears for nothing. Everything appears to be perfectly normal and I am due on May 18th.

Baby In My Belly

Today I could not shake the feeling of something being a little off or maybe I was just overly tired (from staying up to 11:00 pm last night to watch Greys Anatomy - obsessed!!).

Yesterday I got my weekly blood drawn for my 3rd beta count and today I have been nervous and just a little down. Being the impatient person that I am, I called Quest Diagnostic to see if my labs results were ready and asked them to send them to my Dr. asap. They did and I called my Dr.'s office shortly thereafter and got the results.

I am finally letting myself get really excited. My hcg level "rose beautifully" as the Dr.'s office put it, from 2,679 last week to 23,732 yesterday.

First prenatal doctor's appointment on Monday. Troy will get to meet the doctor (although I swear he already did but I've been so many times, who knows??) and then hopefully we will get another order to get an ultrasound so we can see our little bean in my belly.

When I was feeling down and I text my husband he said the sweetest thing ever to me...
What ever the devil is making you think, just remember that God put a baby in your belly.

Morning Sickness or Terrible Prenatal Pill?

Yesterday I had a late breakfast because I haven't been really having a big appetite so I delayed taking my Metformin, pre-natal pill, and my progesterone supplement. I took them about 11:30 and then decided to have lunch at 12:00.

I am half way through lunch and all of a sudden get the urge... you know the kind. The urge to vomit instantaneously! I quickly get up from the lunch table to make my way out of the office. I get to the elevators and start to dry heave. Oh please God let me at least get to the bathroom. I don't want to puke out here. I barely make it into the bathroom and into a stall when blaaaaaaaaaah. Up came my PB&J, chips, nectarine and whatever else I had eaten that day. Gross. I threw up the first time with the stall door wide open. Then in between I had the chance to close the door and lock it behind me.

Gross.

Oh dear baby, please do not tell me that you will be doing this to me for the next 6 weeks or even worse for the next 34 weeks. Hopefully it was just pre-natal pill.

Labs again today. Results tomorrow. Hopefully the numbers are rising and everything is progressing for a normal and healthy pregnancy.

Ultrasound #1

It was a successful day but not everything I hoped and dreamed. We did get to see all my lady parts up on the screen (my ovaries, uterus, full bladder, etc.) and we got to see the pregnancy sac. Unfortunately it was too early to see any sign of a baby. We should see a fetal pole by our next visit, or so the tech says...

Of course my worries run way ahead of the tech talking and I start thinking that maybe it is an empty sac. Maybe we didn't see a baby because there isn't one. Maybe next time there will be no growth and still no sign of a fetal pole.

On the positive side we did get to see the pregnancy and everything looks as normal as to be expected. Troy was even brave and awesome enough to ask the tech for picture. She looked confused and asked if we wanted a pic of just the sac and he said yea. Even though we couldn't see our baby today this was still a huge milestone. We have not been this far yet and even though we can't see him/her hopefully she is hiding in that picture.

The "Golden" Pills

The Dr. wanted to put me on a Progesterone supplement 2x a day until I am 12 weeks. The office faxed over the order to my pharmacy and all I had to do was go and get it.

Then I went up to the pick up counter at the pharmacy to pick up Prometrium 200mg pills and this is what she told me:

Needless to say I was a little shocked and nearly fell over when the pharmacy tech told me this. I called my husband and told him the news and we agreed that we have to do whatever it takes to make sure we do everything possible for a healthy pregnancy. So I handed over my debit card and cringed as she ran it.

So now we have termed these pills the "golden" pills.

Still praying daily that this is the child God intended for us and that I will have a healthy full term pregnancy.

Numbers Are Rising!

So I got my blood drawn again yesterday to make sure my numbers continued to rise and they are!! Monday my hcg was 533. Yesterday's numbers were 2679!!

This is possibly one of the best things I have heard all year! Dr.'s office also told me that I need to take a progesterone supplement until I am 12 weeks and continue getting my blood drawn to monitor.

And the Dr. wants me to get an ultrasound for size and weeks. I think they want one so early since I have had previous miscarriages. Either way I called right away and I have an u/s appointment on Monday so that my DH can go with me.

Is this really happening? Am I really going to see my baby for the first time in 3 days?

Please God, let this baby be the one you have chosen for us and let this one stick.

Maybe I Know God's Reasons

Maybe I have figured out God's reason as to why I lost two babies. First of all, after completing my paralegal degree I am planning to go on and get my Bachelors in Consumer and Family Studies with an emphasis on Family Planning. Maybe God wanted me to have an abundance of life experience before going into this field. If I had a super smooth beginning and birth would I be able to relate to women I possibly might be working with in the future?

My sister in law announced she was pregnant on Mother's Day this year. Sadly at 8 weeks she discovered through u/s that it was not in the uterus and had to go in for a DNC. She opened up about her experience and I think I was able to comfort her in a way that no one else could because I understood from experience the grief and guilt you feel with a loss of a baby. I had just had my 2nd m/c about 3 weeks before her loss. My heart freshly knew the pain that she was going through.

Maybe God wanted me to know the grief and the joy of babies. My two first babies were lessons and the best part is that they are in heaven right now watching me try to become the best mother I can be.

It is a hallelujah moment!

Got my blood drawn yesterday to confirm the pregnancy and to make sure my levels look good. I left work early to get to the lab early and because I was just anxious. Today I waited all day to get a call from the Dr. or at least get my lab results through email but nothing. By 1:00 pm I couldn't take it anymore. I called the office to confirm if they had been received. I left a message for the Dr. and I continued to wait.

Of course, as I started class I get a phone call which I can't answer and he leaves a voicemail. All class I am looking at the clock waiting to be dismissed or at least a break so I could hear either my good or my bad news.

Class was dismissed and as I was walking to the car I listed to my voicemail and had a hallelujah moment. Blood counts look good, HCG levels are good, progesterone levels were good. Need to come back in about a week to re-test to make sure the are increasing and then after that schedule an ultrasound.

I CAN'T WAIT!!

I just have a really good feeling about this one. I feel like the first 2 pregnancies were both blessing and boy did I learn a lot from them but I just have a feeling that this one is going to be successful and in about 8 months I am going to bring a bundle of joy home... or maybe 2 :)  I keep kidding with DH that we are having twins.

OMG I AM PREGNANT!

Should I be excited?

Today I got positive results on my pregnancy test. I am 4w3ds. Part of me wants to jump for joy and the other part of me is so leery of the disappointment that could be in a couple of weeks.

I called Dr. Clayton's office this morning and got a 6 week appointment. Dr. Clayton called me this morning to tell me to stay off my feet, no ex cerise, and no sex. I am to immediately get labs done to test my beta count and progesterone levels. I am sure glad that they are doing these tests so early so that if my body sucks at making its own progesterone (since lets be real - it sucks at making the rest of my hormones) the Dr. will prescribe me so extra supplements to keep the bean going inside of me.

I am in shock.

On a side note. I thought it was hilarious that the Dr. asked me if with my lab test if I wanted an aids test. Thanks but no thanks. I will pass. LOL

My life is a zoo

This week is the 3rd week of school and if I follow my plan closely I will be done with my AA and Paralegal Studies degree by the end of next fall. A tiny glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel.

Last weekend we were asked to watch nephew Aidan and of course we obliged. So what do you do with a 3 year old on a hot Sunday? TV only takes you so far and then there is the ZOO!! Now I would die to go to the San Diego Zoo however it is quite expensive and very far away so we had to compromise with the Santa Ana Zoo.

Step 1: Go online and get coupon for entrance fees to the Santa Ana Zoo. Thank you Cal Choice for my coupon and kids get in free!

Step 2: Zoo is entertaining but we need a co-entertainer. Enter God-son Vincent. Pick up Vincent who is 5 so they can play together.

Step 3: Get the kids and sunscreen packed up and head to the zoo.

Step 4: Guess on the directions and drive straight to the zoo thank goodness!

This zoo should be called the Santa Ana Monkey Zoo because the majority of the animals there are monkeys. They do have about two dozen other types of animals but doesn't even compare to the San Diego Zoo.  The boys had a lot of fun looking at all the animals and were even more excited when they saw the camel rides.

They were being explorers in the jeep. They got to go into a hut and see nasty bugs up close and see what a camp would look like for a real life safari explorer.

Of course Auntie Sema takes the opportunity to teach while having fun....

This is a hat with a bug net so the mosquitoes can't bite you.



Vincent modeling his jungle helmet.

Heather and Joe did eventually joined Aidan, Vincent, Uncle Boobers/Troy and Auntie Sema/Melissa while the boys were eating lunch. They split a kids hamburger meal and spent about 1/2 hour playing on the playground. It was a nice relief to sit in the shade and have them run out some of their energy.

Once we got going again we went to visit the farm animals. They had 2 pig, 1 mini horse, 1 cow, and a pen of goats. Uncle Boobers and Joe had some quarters so they bought the boys some goat food and they got to feed them!

  

While I was busy taking pictures Aidan thought it would be a great idea to grab goat Amelia's horns and she got pissed! She slammed her horns against the fence in protest and thankfully didn't smash Aidan's fingers. We started to walk around the pen to find a new goat to feed but Amelia followed and continued to slam her head on the fence. Time to go kids. I don't need any smashed fingers and explanations to your moms.

Best babysitting idea... bring another kid!

We told the boys that if they were good that we would take them on the camel ride before we left. Nothing like a little bribe for good behavior, especially when the ride costs $5 a person!

WARNING: These are embarrassing photos and are being posted only to show the kids having fun on a camel... Please disregard the size of my ass in these pictures. Just so you know I was smushed between a camel hump with a metal bar in my back while trying to share a seat with Aida. 

Loaded and ready to go.

Half way done with our 60 second ride.

Here is my butt in all its glory...

We had an awesome day and it was truly exhausting. It was hot and herding two young boys took all the energy out of Troy and I. We are blessed to have our family so close that we can be babysitters and on a spir of the moment pick up the kids and go on an adventure. 

I can't wait to have my own little ones. AF was expected yesterday and still has not arrived. Dare I say perhaps this will be the month for a +PT? If not, back to another round of Clomid. Ugh, more hot flashes and mood swings. Trying to stay positive and be more aware of all my life's blessings. 

DIY for Christmas

I know it is only September 1st and it is terrible to even consider Christmas but I frequent  Michaels and they already have the Christmas supplies and decorations starting to hit the shelves. I told the clerk that we should be able to get through the first day of school and maybe even Halloween before Christmas but she said crafters have to start early.

In the mail I receive the ABC Distributing Catalog and it too has Christmas decorations which have given me a little inspiration.

Last year we had an ugly sweater party and everyone made an ugly sweater. it was so much fun! I had gotten some foam stickers from Michaels, took some all-craft glue to reinforce the stickers and went to town on my sweater. As also during Christmas season I usually come down with some horrible cold and of course the weekend of our party was when I was feeling awful! I was pale and pastey and my nose was red like Rudolph.

I even made an ugly sweater for my fur baby Charlie! He wasn't thrilled about it so it lasted about as long as the photo shoot did.

So after seeing the catalogs and thinking about my last year craft projects (other than the ugly sweaters) I got to thinking about what I want to do this year. Since I am on a tight budget and I can be pretty crafty I stole an idea from the ABC Catalog.

To be fair these are solar ornaments that catch the sun during the day and glow during the night. As awesome as this is I thought hey! I can do that! So I have been collecting ideas online of things I want to attempt to do myself.