Today is the first day of taking Clomid for my first cycle. I am a little nervous about the possible side effects as most people have said that they have hot flashes and mood swings - both which I am not looking forward to.
Yesterday I took my Met and PN in the morning and when I went to Michaels with my mom I got extremely light headed and nearly passed out. I felt so nauseous so we walked over to Subway and got some water and a bag of chips. I felt fine after that. This is just a reminder of how important it is to stay hydrated with these meds. So today I have had 2 glasses of water and I will continue to drink water all day so that won't happen again!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
To Fix or Not to Fix...
The last week has been torture. Dealing with cars is so not fun. In fact, I hate it. I see more and more of my Mom coming out in me as I get older. The stress has been killing me, I am not sleeping well, and generally just exhausted so what better way to forget your worries and cure the symptoms but to just sleep, which is exactly what my mom would do!
DH's truck needs some pretty expensive repairs and we were faced with the decision to fix or sell and buy something else. And boy what an emotional ride that has been! Fixing a truck that could potentially have more future expensive repairs is frightening but the thought of another car payment after adjusting to just one was even more frightening in our tight budget.
After cruising through car lots, searching Craigslist, and getting some parental guidance and advice it has been determined that we are going to fix the truck. DH loves it, we can't afford another car payment comfortably, and all in all the risk of a possible future breakdown is less than the definite car payment monthly for many years to come.
Buy a "new" used car initially seemed so much easier in the perfect world but after the hard work of crunching numbers it is just not worth it at this point. So we will fix DH's truck and hope that this will be the only big repair for long time allowing us to continue to have no car payment and a few more years of saving.
So basically I have been an emotional basket case and to top it off it was one of my co-worker's last day of work and I was so sad to say good bye. I will truly miss working with him!
DH's truck needs some pretty expensive repairs and we were faced with the decision to fix or sell and buy something else. And boy what an emotional ride that has been! Fixing a truck that could potentially have more future expensive repairs is frightening but the thought of another car payment after adjusting to just one was even more frightening in our tight budget.
After cruising through car lots, searching Craigslist, and getting some parental guidance and advice it has been determined that we are going to fix the truck. DH loves it, we can't afford another car payment comfortably, and all in all the risk of a possible future breakdown is less than the definite car payment monthly for many years to come.
Buy a "new" used car initially seemed so much easier in the perfect world but after the hard work of crunching numbers it is just not worth it at this point. So we will fix DH's truck and hope that this will be the only big repair for long time allowing us to continue to have no car payment and a few more years of saving.
So basically I have been an emotional basket case and to top it off it was one of my co-worker's last day of work and I was so sad to say good bye. I will truly miss working with him!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Clomid
Great news! I went in for my Clomid check yesterday and the NP said I was all good to start taking Clomid. BTW the check was highly uncomfortable and bordering embarassing as you have to be checked on the first day of your menstral cycle - YUCK! Well she felt around, made sure I had no large cysts or clumps of follicles in my ovaries and got the ok. Picking up my prescription today and start taking the Clomid on CD 5-9. I am terrible at taking pills consistantly so I am putting reminders in my phone to make sure I take them exactly when I am supposed to.Really excited, a bit worried, but so ready to get the process started. Clomid does increase risk of multiples by 10% for twins... and I have been having lots of dreams of having twins so maybe it is a sign. Either way I would love to just have 1 baby to hold and love. No need to get ahead of ourselves here.
And added bonus - Insurance covers the medication 100% so it is free! That is the way to start out on fertility treatments.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It Is Here!!!
I did not get a package in the mail or a new car... I got AF!
I have never been so excited to get AF in all of my life. Quick call to the Dr's office and I have an appointment this afternoon. Hopefully we are on our way to our new treatment plan, if my ovaries check out.
Unfortunately I am in pain and my stomach and back have terrible cramps. I will take them though if this is on our path to parenthood though!
I have never been so excited to get AF in all of my life. Quick call to the Dr's office and I have an appointment this afternoon. Hopefully we are on our way to our new treatment plan, if my ovaries check out.
Unfortunately I am in pain and my stomach and back have terrible cramps. I will take them though if this is on our path to parenthood though!
Insensitivity To My Sensitivity
This past year has been an extremely difficult one for me and it has continued from the year I got married. Financially tight, emotionally drained, physical illness... the works. I think one of the hardest things to deal with though is people's insensitivity to my sensitivity. Some I think are clueless as to what they say and how they may affect people and other I think just don't care.
My husband and I have suffered through unemployment, where we nearly lost everything and was forced to move back to our parents, through miscarriage, where my emotional world and my physical world started to crumble, and just plain family drama turmoil. I don't have many close friends and I keep most people at a distance to keep from getting hurt but what struck me this past week is some of the closest people to me have been incredible insensitive to my sensitive situation.
I am not saying that everyone in my life has intentionally hurt me but intentional or not I have a lot of hurt and resentment that I have been unknowingly carrying around. When I lost my first pregnancy I felt like I was on "suicide watch"... not literally but everyone was watching me waiting for me to have an emotional outburst at any moment. I got comments like "You are still young, it will happen" or "there must have been a reason and the baby was not well" or "you can just keep trying. Now we know at least that you can get pregnant". Although they may find these comforting they are definitely not. Many didn't want to address my current hurt and pain but wanted me to look only at the future. I was in the trenches and they were already telling me to look on the horizon.
Family has asked when I am going to start a family saying things like hurry already because they can't wait to be an aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin or whatever. Thank you for your support but we have been trying and we have lost two pregnancies. I have bled and cried so much in the last 4 months that my overwhelming guilt and pain can not be shared with you in this short "pep" talk conversation but thanks for telling me that you want a baby for me.
We are financially strained. My husband had a great job, got laid off, now has a crappy job. Sounds like most people's story these days and I am no different. So excuse me if I am less than happy to hear about your anniversary trip to Chicago, about your house remodel, your new house or house hunting, or your new car you are going to purchase. I truly am trying to be happy for you and be a supportive friend but in the back of my mind all I am thinking about is how I am going to feed myself and when my next pay check is going to hit the bank so I can buy gas for my car.
Work is an especially sensitive subject. Love my job, hate my pay. Interview? Hate it. New insurance in the midst of my medical issues, daunting. About to get 3 weeks vacation, start over on the bottom of the totem pole? Start a new job, hopefully go on maternity leave quickly after new hire? So many unknown, so many questions, and some many people's opinion on the matter.
I don't want people to walk around on eggshells around me and deep down I want to be a good supportive friend. I would love for the bitterness and anger to leave but I am going through a very rough time right now. Sensitivity to my situation and maybe a little finesse in my conversations with you would be so appreciated.
My husband and I have suffered through unemployment, where we nearly lost everything and was forced to move back to our parents, through miscarriage, where my emotional world and my physical world started to crumble, and just plain family drama turmoil. I don't have many close friends and I keep most people at a distance to keep from getting hurt but what struck me this past week is some of the closest people to me have been incredible insensitive to my sensitive situation.
I am not saying that everyone in my life has intentionally hurt me but intentional or not I have a lot of hurt and resentment that I have been unknowingly carrying around. When I lost my first pregnancy I felt like I was on "suicide watch"... not literally but everyone was watching me waiting for me to have an emotional outburst at any moment. I got comments like "You are still young, it will happen" or "there must have been a reason and the baby was not well" or "you can just keep trying. Now we know at least that you can get pregnant". Although they may find these comforting they are definitely not. Many didn't want to address my current hurt and pain but wanted me to look only at the future. I was in the trenches and they were already telling me to look on the horizon.
Family has asked when I am going to start a family saying things like hurry already because they can't wait to be an aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin or whatever. Thank you for your support but we have been trying and we have lost two pregnancies. I have bled and cried so much in the last 4 months that my overwhelming guilt and pain can not be shared with you in this short "pep" talk conversation but thanks for telling me that you want a baby for me.
We are financially strained. My husband had a great job, got laid off, now has a crappy job. Sounds like most people's story these days and I am no different. So excuse me if I am less than happy to hear about your anniversary trip to Chicago, about your house remodel, your new house or house hunting, or your new car you are going to purchase. I truly am trying to be happy for you and be a supportive friend but in the back of my mind all I am thinking about is how I am going to feed myself and when my next pay check is going to hit the bank so I can buy gas for my car.
Work is an especially sensitive subject. Love my job, hate my pay. Interview? Hate it. New insurance in the midst of my medical issues, daunting. About to get 3 weeks vacation, start over on the bottom of the totem pole? Start a new job, hopefully go on maternity leave quickly after new hire? So many unknown, so many questions, and some many people's opinion on the matter.
I don't want people to walk around on eggshells around me and deep down I want to be a good supportive friend. I would love for the bitterness and anger to leave but I am going through a very rough time right now. Sensitivity to my situation and maybe a little finesse in my conversations with you would be so appreciated.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Taco Salad
Last night Troy and I were not up for cooking at all but the idea of facing a fast food anything was daunting and made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. We had ground turkey meat thawed so we need to use it and some lettuce that was going to go south pretty soon if not used. So I thought to make taco salad! Here was what was in it:
1 lb ground turkey
1 head of lettuce
1 can of kidney beans
salsa
shredded cheese
sour cream
Troy grilled up the turkey and seasoned it with all seasoning salt, threw it on top of a bed of lettuce, added heated kidney beans, cold salsa, cheese and sour cream. It was delicious and I didn't even add any dressing on it! The toppings were perfect! I would have liked Avocado on top as well but didn't have any of that on hand.
I have been reading so many blogs lately from other people who suffer from some kind of infertility or fertility problems and I am feeling relief. I am following this one blog who had a different kind of infertility as mine and paid over $100,00 before she conceived her twins. Then she tried to get pregnant again with the rest of her frozen eggs and conceived one baby that sadly miscarried. A few months later after giving up and being satisfied with their twin boy and girl... they got pregnant by themselves with another set of twins! Boys! I couldn't believe it. She has funny antics about being infertile, life with 2 sets of twins, and being married and dealing with health issues. Although it is reassuring that it will happen for me too it is scary to think that it cost her $100,000, money which I do not have the luxury of spending on IVF. But alas, there is hope.
I am also hoping that I am PMS'ing right now. This may sound strange but I have had the most terrible mood swings and if looks could kill Troy would have been dead three days ago. Mood swings, anger, and emotional outbursts of anger and tears for really no great reason. "Troy, you left the light on in the kitchen! How could you do this? You know this costs money, which we don't have. You want to see the electricity bill? Do you ever listen to me?!".... seriously... over turning off the light. I am also hoping to be PMS'ing so I can have a period and start my treatment plan. Patience is the hardest thing to have.
1 lb ground turkey
1 head of lettuce
1 can of kidney beans
salsa
shredded cheese
sour cream
Troy grilled up the turkey and seasoned it with all seasoning salt, threw it on top of a bed of lettuce, added heated kidney beans, cold salsa, cheese and sour cream. It was delicious and I didn't even add any dressing on it! The toppings were perfect! I would have liked Avocado on top as well but didn't have any of that on hand.
I have been reading so many blogs lately from other people who suffer from some kind of infertility or fertility problems and I am feeling relief. I am following this one blog who had a different kind of infertility as mine and paid over $100,00 before she conceived her twins. Then she tried to get pregnant again with the rest of her frozen eggs and conceived one baby that sadly miscarried. A few months later after giving up and being satisfied with their twin boy and girl... they got pregnant by themselves with another set of twins! Boys! I couldn't believe it. She has funny antics about being infertile, life with 2 sets of twins, and being married and dealing with health issues. Although it is reassuring that it will happen for me too it is scary to think that it cost her $100,000, money which I do not have the luxury of spending on IVF. But alas, there is hope.
I am also hoping that I am PMS'ing right now. This may sound strange but I have had the most terrible mood swings and if looks could kill Troy would have been dead three days ago. Mood swings, anger, and emotional outbursts of anger and tears for really no great reason. "Troy, you left the light on in the kitchen! How could you do this? You know this costs money, which we don't have. You want to see the electricity bill? Do you ever listen to me?!".... seriously... over turning off the light. I am also hoping to be PMS'ing so I can have a period and start my treatment plan. Patience is the hardest thing to have.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Gourmet Breakfast Cooking
About 90% of the time I skip breakfast both during the week and on the weekend. So since I am trying to focus on my health, save money, and cook at home I decided to try a breakfast dish. I kind of feel like Julia from the Julia and Julia movie posting all about the recipes I am trying. So when I headed to the kitchen this fabuulous 4th of July holiday and started creating this new dish of Baked Chile Rellano Eggs I realized that I don't have any flour. Now, most would laugh at this but seriously people... who uses flour? Want to bake a cake? Buy a pre-made box! So I made it omitting the 1 TB of flour so we will see how it turns out. Anyways, here it goes...
Baked Chile Rellano Eggs
2 - 4oz cans whole green chiles
2 cups granted Monterey Jack cheese
6 eggs
1 TB flour
2 cups milk
1/8 tsp chili power
1 1/2 TB butter
1. Preheart the oven to 325 degrees. Lightly butter baking dish.
2. Slit each chile down one side and file loosley with grated cheese, using one cup cheese for all the chiles. Lay filled chiles in a lightly buttered baking dish.
 |
| Stuffed chiles |
3. In a separate bowl, beat eggs and flour. Str in milk and chili powder. Fold in the remaining cheese.
4. Pour egg mixture over chiles. Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until top is bubbly and a knife insured near center comes out clean.
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| Egg dish before cooking in the oven |
Glycemic index/load: low 2
Calories: 282
Protein: 18 grams
Carbs: 5 grams
Fat: 21 grams
Tip: to make it lower fat, use low-fat cheese, 2 percent milk, and substitute olive oil for butter, and 3 eggs and 5 egg whites for the six eggs. Results: 218 calories
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