So I have taken my last pill for this first cycle of Clomid and I keep thinking to myself... am I supposed to feel something? I thought I had a hot flash a while back but was probably all in my head and most definitely due to the temperature outside. So as I sit here I am pondering what I am exactly, if anything, supposed to feel. I haven't experienced any real symptoms: no blurry vision, mood swings out of normal, dizziness or hot flashes. So how do I know this stuff is working?
Also, peeing in a cup daily to insert little OPK sticks is definitely not my idea of fun either. I was told to do it daily through this entire cycle to track for next cycle if this one isn't successful. So here I find myself daily straddling the toilet aiming to get pee in this mini cup that comes with the cup... again not my idea of fun but totally worth it if this stuff is going to work!
Now that I have taken the last dose its time to wait, which of course is the hardest part! Hopefully between the Met and the Clomid my cycles will "normal" and I won't have to wait even longer to start the next cycle of IF meds.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Is this a heat wave....
or a hot flash? Ok, I don't know if it is all in my head because I am taking new medication or if there really is a heat wave. It is 8:30 at night and I am still sitting in my living room sweating. Ugh. I love summer and I will miss it when fall gets here but I can't wait for it to cool down!
![]()
First Cycle CD5
Today is the first day of taking Clomid for my first cycle. I am a little nervous about the possible side effects as most people have said that they have hot flashes and mood swings - both which I am not looking forward to.
Yesterday I took my Met and PN in the morning and when I went to Michaels with my mom I got extremely light headed and nearly passed out. I felt so nauseous so we walked over to Subway and got some water and a bag of chips. I felt fine after that. This is just a reminder of how important it is to stay hydrated with these meds. So today I have had 2 glasses of water and I will continue to drink water all day so that won't happen again!
Yesterday I took my Met and PN in the morning and when I went to Michaels with my mom I got extremely light headed and nearly passed out. I felt so nauseous so we walked over to Subway and got some water and a bag of chips. I felt fine after that. This is just a reminder of how important it is to stay hydrated with these meds. So today I have had 2 glasses of water and I will continue to drink water all day so that won't happen again!
Friday, July 15, 2011
To Fix or Not to Fix...
The last week has been torture. Dealing with cars is so not fun. In fact, I hate it. I see more and more of my Mom coming out in me as I get older. The stress has been killing me, I am not sleeping well, and generally just exhausted so what better way to forget your worries and cure the symptoms but to just sleep, which is exactly what my mom would do!
DH's truck needs some pretty expensive repairs and we were faced with the decision to fix or sell and buy something else. And boy what an emotional ride that has been! Fixing a truck that could potentially have more future expensive repairs is frightening but the thought of another car payment after adjusting to just one was even more frightening in our tight budget.
After cruising through car lots, searching Craigslist, and getting some parental guidance and advice it has been determined that we are going to fix the truck. DH loves it, we can't afford another car payment comfortably, and all in all the risk of a possible future breakdown is less than the definite car payment monthly for many years to come.
Buy a "new" used car initially seemed so much easier in the perfect world but after the hard work of crunching numbers it is just not worth it at this point. So we will fix DH's truck and hope that this will be the only big repair for long time allowing us to continue to have no car payment and a few more years of saving.
So basically I have been an emotional basket case and to top it off it was one of my co-worker's last day of work and I was so sad to say good bye. I will truly miss working with him!
DH's truck needs some pretty expensive repairs and we were faced with the decision to fix or sell and buy something else. And boy what an emotional ride that has been! Fixing a truck that could potentially have more future expensive repairs is frightening but the thought of another car payment after adjusting to just one was even more frightening in our tight budget.
After cruising through car lots, searching Craigslist, and getting some parental guidance and advice it has been determined that we are going to fix the truck. DH loves it, we can't afford another car payment comfortably, and all in all the risk of a possible future breakdown is less than the definite car payment monthly for many years to come.
Buy a "new" used car initially seemed so much easier in the perfect world but after the hard work of crunching numbers it is just not worth it at this point. So we will fix DH's truck and hope that this will be the only big repair for long time allowing us to continue to have no car payment and a few more years of saving.
So basically I have been an emotional basket case and to top it off it was one of my co-worker's last day of work and I was so sad to say good bye. I will truly miss working with him!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Clomid
Great news! I went in for my Clomid check yesterday and the NP said I was all good to start taking Clomid. BTW the check was highly uncomfortable and bordering embarassing as you have to be checked on the first day of your menstral cycle - YUCK! Well she felt around, made sure I had no large cysts or clumps of follicles in my ovaries and got the ok. Picking up my prescription today and start taking the Clomid on CD 5-9. I am terrible at taking pills consistantly so I am putting reminders in my phone to make sure I take them exactly when I am supposed to.Really excited, a bit worried, but so ready to get the process started. Clomid does increase risk of multiples by 10% for twins... and I have been having lots of dreams of having twins so maybe it is a sign. Either way I would love to just have 1 baby to hold and love. No need to get ahead of ourselves here.
And added bonus - Insurance covers the medication 100% so it is free! That is the way to start out on fertility treatments.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It Is Here!!!
I did not get a package in the mail or a new car... I got AF!
I have never been so excited to get AF in all of my life. Quick call to the Dr's office and I have an appointment this afternoon. Hopefully we are on our way to our new treatment plan, if my ovaries check out.
Unfortunately I am in pain and my stomach and back have terrible cramps. I will take them though if this is on our path to parenthood though!
I have never been so excited to get AF in all of my life. Quick call to the Dr's office and I have an appointment this afternoon. Hopefully we are on our way to our new treatment plan, if my ovaries check out.
Unfortunately I am in pain and my stomach and back have terrible cramps. I will take them though if this is on our path to parenthood though!
Insensitivity To My Sensitivity
This past year has been an extremely difficult one for me and it has continued from the year I got married. Financially tight, emotionally drained, physical illness... the works. I think one of the hardest things to deal with though is people's insensitivity to my sensitivity. Some I think are clueless as to what they say and how they may affect people and other I think just don't care.
My husband and I have suffered through unemployment, where we nearly lost everything and was forced to move back to our parents, through miscarriage, where my emotional world and my physical world started to crumble, and just plain family drama turmoil. I don't have many close friends and I keep most people at a distance to keep from getting hurt but what struck me this past week is some of the closest people to me have been incredible insensitive to my sensitive situation.
I am not saying that everyone in my life has intentionally hurt me but intentional or not I have a lot of hurt and resentment that I have been unknowingly carrying around. When I lost my first pregnancy I felt like I was on "suicide watch"... not literally but everyone was watching me waiting for me to have an emotional outburst at any moment. I got comments like "You are still young, it will happen" or "there must have been a reason and the baby was not well" or "you can just keep trying. Now we know at least that you can get pregnant". Although they may find these comforting they are definitely not. Many didn't want to address my current hurt and pain but wanted me to look only at the future. I was in the trenches and they were already telling me to look on the horizon.
Family has asked when I am going to start a family saying things like hurry already because they can't wait to be an aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin or whatever. Thank you for your support but we have been trying and we have lost two pregnancies. I have bled and cried so much in the last 4 months that my overwhelming guilt and pain can not be shared with you in this short "pep" talk conversation but thanks for telling me that you want a baby for me.
We are financially strained. My husband had a great job, got laid off, now has a crappy job. Sounds like most people's story these days and I am no different. So excuse me if I am less than happy to hear about your anniversary trip to Chicago, about your house remodel, your new house or house hunting, or your new car you are going to purchase. I truly am trying to be happy for you and be a supportive friend but in the back of my mind all I am thinking about is how I am going to feed myself and when my next pay check is going to hit the bank so I can buy gas for my car.
Work is an especially sensitive subject. Love my job, hate my pay. Interview? Hate it. New insurance in the midst of my medical issues, daunting. About to get 3 weeks vacation, start over on the bottom of the totem pole? Start a new job, hopefully go on maternity leave quickly after new hire? So many unknown, so many questions, and some many people's opinion on the matter.
I don't want people to walk around on eggshells around me and deep down I want to be a good supportive friend. I would love for the bitterness and anger to leave but I am going through a very rough time right now. Sensitivity to my situation and maybe a little finesse in my conversations with you would be so appreciated.
My husband and I have suffered through unemployment, where we nearly lost everything and was forced to move back to our parents, through miscarriage, where my emotional world and my physical world started to crumble, and just plain family drama turmoil. I don't have many close friends and I keep most people at a distance to keep from getting hurt but what struck me this past week is some of the closest people to me have been incredible insensitive to my sensitive situation.
I am not saying that everyone in my life has intentionally hurt me but intentional or not I have a lot of hurt and resentment that I have been unknowingly carrying around. When I lost my first pregnancy I felt like I was on "suicide watch"... not literally but everyone was watching me waiting for me to have an emotional outburst at any moment. I got comments like "You are still young, it will happen" or "there must have been a reason and the baby was not well" or "you can just keep trying. Now we know at least that you can get pregnant". Although they may find these comforting they are definitely not. Many didn't want to address my current hurt and pain but wanted me to look only at the future. I was in the trenches and they were already telling me to look on the horizon.
Family has asked when I am going to start a family saying things like hurry already because they can't wait to be an aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin or whatever. Thank you for your support but we have been trying and we have lost two pregnancies. I have bled and cried so much in the last 4 months that my overwhelming guilt and pain can not be shared with you in this short "pep" talk conversation but thanks for telling me that you want a baby for me.
We are financially strained. My husband had a great job, got laid off, now has a crappy job. Sounds like most people's story these days and I am no different. So excuse me if I am less than happy to hear about your anniversary trip to Chicago, about your house remodel, your new house or house hunting, or your new car you are going to purchase. I truly am trying to be happy for you and be a supportive friend but in the back of my mind all I am thinking about is how I am going to feed myself and when my next pay check is going to hit the bank so I can buy gas for my car.
Work is an especially sensitive subject. Love my job, hate my pay. Interview? Hate it. New insurance in the midst of my medical issues, daunting. About to get 3 weeks vacation, start over on the bottom of the totem pole? Start a new job, hopefully go on maternity leave quickly after new hire? So many unknown, so many questions, and some many people's opinion on the matter.
I don't want people to walk around on eggshells around me and deep down I want to be a good supportive friend. I would love for the bitterness and anger to leave but I am going through a very rough time right now. Sensitivity to my situation and maybe a little finesse in my conversations with you would be so appreciated.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)