Ok, it feels real now!

Yesterday we went in for our second pre-natal appointment. I am so thankful Troy only works 4 days so that I can schedule doctors appointments on his day off. The appointment was super quick. Pee in a cup, get weighed, get my blood pressure checked, wait for the doctor, and become so thankful the nurse didn't tell me to undress!!

We chatted for a few minutes, asked if I had any questions (which of course after walking out of the office I remember 2 questions about meds!), and then he said lets make this appointment worth it and see if we can find a heart beat.

I layed back on the table and he got the doppler out. The anticipation was rising as I have been reading that some women are not able to hear the heart beat at 10 weeks. The Dr. immediately found the heart beat and we got to listen to it for a minute. It was breath taking. Dr. said it sounded good and that we have a soccer player on our hands.

It was the best anniversary present I could have ever asked for ~ Happy 2 year anniversary Bubba!! After the appointment we went to Triangle Square and hit up their happy hour. We got 3 appetizers and a 1/2 priced BBQ Chicken Pizza for only $23!! It was delicious and a perfect celebration for our anniversary and hearing our baby today.

Since I am truly a home body and an old soul we decided to go to Target and get some ice cream and a new movie so we could go home and cuddle in the comfort of our PJs. No big celebration... it was just right... it was so us!

Now I can rub my belly and really feel reassured that I am talking to our baby. Love at first sound!

My Mommy Pregnancy Journal

Troy had given me a Mommy Pregnancy Journal for my birthday this year when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I didn't write in it at the time just because I was only 6 weeks and I wanted to be a little more sure of things before I started memorializing anything. Three days later I was bleeding and it was all over.

Now I am pregnant again and I am 9w5d. I keep looking at the Mommy Journal on my night stand hoping to have the courage to write to my little one but haven't found the strength just yet. In 3 weeks my first trimester will be over and I haven't written a single word in it yet. I have things I want to say but am too afraid that this pregnancy will end like the other 2 and it will be all for not.

When will this really feel real to me? The nausea is real and taking the Progetrium and pre-natals which make me ill is real but the actual feeling of having a baby growing inside me still feels like a dream.

My mom has been giving the baby a gift every week since I was 5 weeks. Baby has gotten bibs, wash clothes, baby bible books, sippy cups, teething ring and other odds and ends that are gender neutral. She is very excited!

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Ever feel like you haven't had a full good day in a long time? Well that is what I have been feeling lately. Who knew that the first trimester would suck so badly. The good thing is that everything is "normal" and the sickness that I am feeling is nothing out of the ordinary. The sucky part is that it is normal and feeling like this comes with the package.

I have an aversion to pills now. Taking the extra progesterone 2x daily, Metformin and my pre-natal vitamin the moment that the pills hit my mouth I gag. Great. After the first trimester I will get to eliminate the Metformin and (hopefully) eliminate the extra progesterone.

Over the weekend I broke down. I was hungry but didn't want to eat. Nothing sounded good and the fear of the pain I would be in after I ate was greater than my desire to eat. I can't wait until this is all over and I can eat a hunkin' steak without distress.

Also, a bonus for early pregnancy is constipation. I know, not the loveliest topic, but honestly I can't wait to take one big huge dump. To think that I complained of my daily diarrhea episodes when I first started Metformin to now where I rejoice at the sign of a bowel movement.

Water retention is setting in and my rings are getting a bit too tight for comfort. Need to find a band to replace it for the next 7 months.

Next pre-natal appointment is on our 2 year wedding anniversary. The hubs better take me out for a nice dinner (pending I don't feel like vomiting the entire time).

He has been great. He has been doing laundry and doing the heavy lifting. He is willing to run out and get what ever I need when I finally decide its time to eat without complaining. Where would I be without him? How do these girls on 16 and Pregnant do this on their own?

I am looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel. Right now I just feel fat and frumpy and can't wait until the morning sickness subsides and the bump is revealed. I need justification for the fatness.

Heartbeat

Yesterday morning I got a message from my OB say that my hcg grew very quickly and my progesterone levels were elevated and to do another ultrasound this week. Of course panic set in and I immediately made an appointment for an ultrasound that same day. I figured it was a good idea since I was going in to see the doctor that day anyway and he could see the report before hand.

Troy and I got to the ultrasound place, somewhere where I am now frequenting along with Quest Diagnostics, and waited until we could be seen. The worst part... filling your bladder with 32 oz of water and waiting what seemed like forever for the exam to start. Seriously the worst part of the whole thing.

Up there on the screen there was a lot of black and white wishy washy stuff that you couldn't really make out and then all of a sudden she zoomed in on the pregnancy sack and in there you could see a little baby (that looked like a sea monkey) with a little flicker. She measured the heart beat and it was 118 beats per minute.

Relief!

Our first prenatal appointment went well. I had a pap (yuck!) and he listened to my heart, checked my breasts for lumps and made sure I was in good health. He ordered another round of blood work and off I went.

Troy was especially glad to hear that it was ok for me to travel so we are officially back on to going to Kansas City at the end of October.

All in all it was a lot of worries and fears for nothing. Everything appears to be perfectly normal and I am due on May 18th.

Baby In My Belly

Today I could not shake the feeling of something being a little off or maybe I was just overly tired (from staying up to 11:00 pm last night to watch Greys Anatomy - obsessed!!).

Yesterday I got my weekly blood drawn for my 3rd beta count and today I have been nervous and just a little down. Being the impatient person that I am, I called Quest Diagnostic to see if my labs results were ready and asked them to send them to my Dr. asap. They did and I called my Dr.'s office shortly thereafter and got the results.

I am finally letting myself get really excited. My hcg level "rose beautifully" as the Dr.'s office put it, from 2,679 last week to 23,732 yesterday.

First prenatal doctor's appointment on Monday. Troy will get to meet the doctor (although I swear he already did but I've been so many times, who knows??) and then hopefully we will get another order to get an ultrasound so we can see our little bean in my belly.

When I was feeling down and I text my husband he said the sweetest thing ever to me...
What ever the devil is making you think, just remember that God put a baby in your belly.

Morning Sickness or Terrible Prenatal Pill?

Yesterday I had a late breakfast because I haven't been really having a big appetite so I delayed taking my Metformin, pre-natal pill, and my progesterone supplement. I took them about 11:30 and then decided to have lunch at 12:00.

I am half way through lunch and all of a sudden get the urge... you know the kind. The urge to vomit instantaneously! I quickly get up from the lunch table to make my way out of the office. I get to the elevators and start to dry heave. Oh please God let me at least get to the bathroom. I don't want to puke out here. I barely make it into the bathroom and into a stall when blaaaaaaaaaah. Up came my PB&J, chips, nectarine and whatever else I had eaten that day. Gross. I threw up the first time with the stall door wide open. Then in between I had the chance to close the door and lock it behind me.

Gross.

Oh dear baby, please do not tell me that you will be doing this to me for the next 6 weeks or even worse for the next 34 weeks. Hopefully it was just pre-natal pill.

Labs again today. Results tomorrow. Hopefully the numbers are rising and everything is progressing for a normal and healthy pregnancy.

Ultrasound #1

It was a successful day but not everything I hoped and dreamed. We did get to see all my lady parts up on the screen (my ovaries, uterus, full bladder, etc.) and we got to see the pregnancy sac. Unfortunately it was too early to see any sign of a baby. We should see a fetal pole by our next visit, or so the tech says...

Of course my worries run way ahead of the tech talking and I start thinking that maybe it is an empty sac. Maybe we didn't see a baby because there isn't one. Maybe next time there will be no growth and still no sign of a fetal pole.

On the positive side we did get to see the pregnancy and everything looks as normal as to be expected. Troy was even brave and awesome enough to ask the tech for picture. She looked confused and asked if we wanted a pic of just the sac and he said yea. Even though we couldn't see our baby today this was still a huge milestone. We have not been this far yet and even though we can't see him/her hopefully she is hiding in that picture.