Oh Facebook, How I Hate Thee

I love my friends. I love my family. I love the blessings in life and I love celebrating with others. I hate Facebook.

I hate feeling sorry for myself and then further torture myself by Facebook stalking only to find out another high school friend just _______ fill in the blank... found she was pregnant, bought a house/house hunting, got a new dog, just got married, inherited major cash, went on a European vacation, etc.  Oh why oh why do I do this to myself? I am so stupid.

Also, I do not care what you had to eat for lunch, that you are now off work after a long day, that you are having morning sickness, the stresses of your house remodel, the misery from recovering from a 2 week vacation, or about your big toe which is now twitching.

Oh Facebook, how I hate thee.

PS - Congrats to my friend Celia who gave birth to her daughter Brooke yesterday all natural! She labored at home until 8 cm with her doula, then went to the hospital and with 3 hours of pushing, pushed out a 9 lb baby with no meds (not even an IV). She is doing the all natural this time around... cloth diapers, glass bottles... the whole 9 yards!

Just Got A Feeling of a BFN

I just got a feeling... I am not sure if it is because my hope feels totally and completely drained at the moment or if its just something in the air. I kept convincing myself that this wasn't as big of an emotional rollercoaster that it could be and that this process isn't that bad but reality it is exactly that bad! Just when I think I am doing ok some pregnant lady will walk by or I go on the dreaded Facebook and hear about some new great announcement in some else's life and then I go on a dip on the roller coaster.

So AF is supposed to arrive on 8/10 if I had a "normal" cycle but we all know there is nothing "normal" about my reproductive system. So I took a pregnancy test this morning since the EPTs claim to detect HCG levels up to 6 days prior to your expected and not to my surprise it was a BFN. So, in short I just have a feeling. Of course I will definitely test again on 8/10 and if AF still hasn't arrived I will try every day until AF arrives... thanks to Amazon and cheap pregnancy test strips!!

Going To The Home Land

It is official! Purchased the tickets for the Oct. 31st Chiefs v. Chargers game in Kansas City, Mo.  I am so excited for this trip! We are staying longer than 2 days like our typical turn around trips. We are flying on Saturday morning and not coming home until Tuesday. I have been Google'ing and researching all the things I want to do and see while we are there.

I definately want to go to a real pumpkin patch. Since we are going to be out of town for halloween we have to celebrate it there. I can't wait for a traditional hay ride, although I heard they are extremely uncomfortable and a better idea than actuality. I got some brochures on different farms and am so excited to go pick a pumpkin and go through the corn maze!

Kansas City is also the city of fountains so I think we are going to do a walking tour of parts of the city to see all the different kinds of fountians.

We are also going to go to a tour of a hometown brewery, tour the Harley Davidson factory, and hopefully take a tour of the Arrowhead Stadium on a non-game day. We are so excited for this vacation. This will be our first real vacation since our honeymoon. We are calling this our anniversary trip.

I am excited to be out there and be able to go into a Wal-mart or Target an actually buy Chiefs gear. Living in California makes it difficult to get anything and usually have to resort in buying over the internet. This typically isn't such a bad thing unless you want to try something on! We are definately going to get our annual Christmas ornament while we are in KC as well.

The countdown begins! 87 days until we depart!!

Watching The Clock...

I feel like that is all I do these days... I watch the clock at work waiting for the time to go home. I watch the clock at night when I toss and turn all night, hoping I don't sleep through my alarm and am late for work. Watching the clock and doing the countdown to get my degree and finish school. Watching my biological clock since this conception process is taking way longer than expected.

And the worst wait of all... the time between periods when you are dying to take a pregnancy test to see if your efforts paid off but instead you just wait and count the days!

Quick Update - POSITIVE!

So this morning I got my first actual positive OPK!! Now we have to BD a lot and hope for the best. Pregnancy test to be taken around August 10th.... the waiting kills me!!

Peeing in Mini Cups

This morning I got my first almost positive OPK so I think we are on the right track. For the last 9 days I have been only getting the one test line to appear. This morning the ovulation line started to barely show. It isn't darker than the test line so I know I am not ovulating but I think my body is responding well to the Clomid. Hopefully if timed right we will have a BFP HPT by the end of this month!

Daily Thoughts of Someone Suffering from IF

I saw an awesome video made by a fellow IF sufferer whose blog I stumbled upon...

http://vimeo.com/keikozoll/whatif

LOVED IT!